


But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep

by LightningNymph



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon-Typical Racism, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape, averted purification sex, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningNymph/pseuds/LightningNymph
Summary: Written for theFE3H Kink Meme.Dedue dearly wished he had any idea of what to do.He settled for kneeling down next to him, speaking softly and as soothing as he could. “Sylvain.”Sylvain flinched at the sound regardless, looking up at him. “D—Dedue?” he asked. He seemed distinctly out of it, eyes not seeming to focus on him for longer than a second, and when he tried to sit up, he swayed dangerously.He wasn’t the type to drink to the point of drunkenness.Drugged?Fuck.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure to keep yourself safe reading this. For a detailed content warning, please check the end notes down below.  
> Fair warning to shippers: Most of this _can_ be read as just a reaction to severe trauma instead of actual attraction, so be warned that if you wanted shippy stuff, this probably isn't the fic for you.  
> 
> 
> Original prompt:
>
>> Sylvain gets drugged and raped, and Dedue finds him and takes him home. Sylvain is still drugged out, so Dedue has to carry him, which is fine because he's huge and strong and nice.
>> 
>> But when Dedue mentions taking him to Dimitri, Sylvain comes alive with panic and makes Dedue promise that he won't tell Dimitri, Felix, or Ingrid what happened to him. Dedue promises, and Sylvain passes out in his arms. When he wakes up, he's safely in Dedue's room with Dedue tending to his wounds.
>> 
>> I just want Dedue to be this incredibly warm, calming presence for a sexually traumatized Sylvain. Big and warm and holding him close.
>> 
>> +Sylvain asking Dedue to stay with him because he doesn't want to be alone after that  
> +++++purification sex: Sylvain asking Dedue to fuck him because he doesn't want to be alone and empty. He knows Dedue will be kind to him because Dedue is always kind to him  
> ++++Dedue's cock is as big and warm as the rest of his body. fill Sylvain up!
>> 
>> doesn't have to be NSFW! cuddling is also good!!

Hearing Sylvain’s voice coming from some secluded area of the monastery grounds because of a late-night tryst was not uncommon. He tended to get around, as much as His Highness tried to dissuade him.

Still, Dedue sighed internally when he heard Sylvain moan. No doubt this would end with Sylvain stumbling back to his room loudly, causing complaints from the other students and waking Dimitri. He had half a mind to go and speak to him about it. His gardening shears could wait until tomorrow.

“P-please...”

On second thought, that conversation could wait until tomorrow. He did not care to listen in on Sylvain during sex.

Just as he started to move towards the training grounds again, however, Sylvain let out a pained yelp.

“Please, _stop_...”

Dedue’s blood ran cold. It couldn’t be...

Immediately, Dedue rushed towards the sound of Sylvain’s voice, snapping, “Step _away_ from him.”

He heard a hissed “ _fuck_ ” and stumbling as whoever it was disappeared into the night, faster than he gave them credit for.

In a perfect world, this was where Sylvain would get up and try to play it off like nothing happened. Chide him for interrupting a date, or mention that his date probably had a similarly attractive friend he could set Dedue up with.

Instead, Sylvain just sat there, on hands and knees, shuddering and taking gaspy little breaths, not even moving to pull his pants back up.

Dedue dearly wished he had any idea of what to do.

He settled for kneeling down next to him, speaking softly and as soothing as he could. “Sylvain.”

Sylvain flinched at the sound regardless, looking up at him. “D—Dedue?” he asked. He seemed distinctly out of it, eyes not seeming to focus on him for longer than a second, and when he tried to sit up, he swayed dangerously.

He wasn’t the type to drink to the point of drunkenness. _Drugged?_

Fuck.

“Can you stand?” Dedue asked, deciding to start small.

Sylvain stared, uncomprehending. That was a ‘no’, then.

Dedue sighed. “Alright. I’ll carry you.”

He took a brief moment to button Sylvain’s clothes back up, then in one movement, he picked him up and draped him over his shoulder.

Professor Manuela would not appreciate being woken at this hour, but it could be dangerous to just leave him be like this when he didn’t know what it was they’d given him. Not to mention that there might be physical injuries, or Sylvain might want to have the knights find whoever it was in the morning.

However, someone from Duscur showing up with a drugged and raped Fódlaner would be trouble if someone saw him.

“Dimitri should be able to help,” Dedue murmured to himself. At the very least, Sylvain should get support from someone he trusts.

“Dimi...” Sylvain squirmed in his arms, pulling at Dedue’s shirt. “No, don’t, I—don’t want to—don’t tell him, don’t tell _anyone_ , not Felix, not Ingrid, not Dimitri, please, Dedue, I don’t want them to—not Manuela, not Byleth, I don't want them to find out about—”

“ _Careful_ ,” Dedue said, shifting his hold on Sylvain. “Alright. Calm down.”

“You need to promise,” Sylvain mumbled, settling back onto his shoulder. “ _Please_ , Dedue.”

Dedue hesitated. He shouldn’t concede on this, he _should_ just haul Sylvain bodily into the dorms or to the infirmary, but... He sighed. “...I promise.”

Sylvain went limp in his arms again, murmuring something that sounded vaguely grateful.

 _Now what?_ Dedue thought.

* * *

It was a mercy the professor and Ashe were fast asleep when they got to Dedue’s room. He would hate to break a promise, especially this soon.

Sylvain had groaned in pain when Dedue set him down on his bed, but allowed him to treat his injuries—or at least the ones he could reach without taking off his clothes, which Dedue agreed to—as best he could, eventually falling asleep as Dedue worked on him.

Once he’d put the first-aid kit away again, Dedue got a spare blanket and settled down on the ground, leaning against the door. It would let him keep an eye on Sylvain, and hopefully put him at ease a bit.

He was not expecting to be jostled awake late at night by Sylvain crawling into his lap, shivering like a leaf and breathing erratically.

“Sylvain?” he asked carefully, holding very still.

Sylvain didn’t answer initially, settling down in Dedue’s lap. “S-sorry. I had a—a bad dream.”

 _A bad dream_. Dedue could just about guess the topic. He and Dimitri had had too many nightmares about their trauma not to recognize it in someone else.

Sylvain swallowed. “Can I—can I sit like this for a while?”

“Are you sure?” Dedue asked, looking at him carefully.

Sylvain flinched away. “If you—if you don’t want to, that’s—”

“It’s not that. Are you sure you want to?” Dedue asked.

“Oh. That—yeah.” Sylvain nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure. I just...” He looked away. “I don’t want to be alone right now. And you’re... you’re safe.”

“I see.” An unfamiliar sentiment. Dedue draped the blanket around Sylvain as well, pulling him in closer.

Sylvain took a shaky breath, settling against Dedue’s chest and resting his head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dedue said, resting his head back against the door.

Sylvain was quiet, fidgeting and shifting his weight more than once, curling closer and closer against him. He settled down when Dedue carefully put an arm around him, curled up with his head to Dedue’s chest.

Just as Dedue was starting to fall asleep again, though, Sylvain shifted again, pulling away to stare at him. There were tears threatening to spill over and his face was red, but he looked more thoughtful as he frowned.

“Sylvain, what—” Dedue started.

Sylvain leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dedue’s, feeling almost desperate. It was... awkward, and uncertain, as Sylvain grabbed Dedue’s shirt and—tried to slip his tongue into Dedue’s mouth.

Placing his hands on Sylvain’s shoulders, Dedue carefully but firmly pushed him away, staring at him.

Sylvain swallowed, glancing away. “You—didn’t like that?” he asked. “I’ll stop. Just...” He tried to move forward again, stopped by Dedue.

“Sylvain.”

He bit his lip. “Dedue, please. Let me—please fuck me.”

Dedue stared in shock. At the lack of an immediate ‘no’, Sylvain pressed onwards.

“I just—I feel awful,” he admitted, glancing away again. “And—and used, and the thoughts keep—keep replaying in my mind, Dedue. Please, make it stop. You’re always so calm and gentle, so please...” Sylvain’s voice broke and he looked at Dedue again.

Dedue sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I cannot.”

“ _Please_ ,” Sylvain begged. “You _can_ , I _want_ you to.”

“You’re hurt,” Dedue said calmly, letting go of one of Sylvain’s shoulders and cupping Sylvain’s cheek instead. “You’re drugged and traumatized, and you would most likely regret it come morning. I won’t hurt you like that.”

Sylvain’s face crumpled, but he gave a tiny nod, sniffling. “I—I’m sorry. I’m just —” He laughed brokenly. “I’m just one big fuck-up after the other, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not,” Dedue said firmly.

Sylvain startled at his words, staring at him.

“This wasn’t your fault. The man who hurt you is to blame.”

After what felt like forever, Sylvain let out a soft chuckle. “Since when did you get so wise, knowing what to say?” he asked quietly.

 _Experience_ , Dedue did not say.

Movements slow and careful, Dedue pulled Sylvain against his chest and shifted the blanket around them again. “Sleep. I’ll stay awake and keep you safe. I promise.”

Sylvain let out a shuddery breath, but he’d stopped shaking, pressing his ear to Dedue’s heart. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Carefully petting Sylvain, Dedue took a deep breath and started humming. An old lullaby that he remembered his mother singing to him when he had nightmares as a boy, and which he’d hummed for Dimitri dozens of times before.

Sylvain drifted off to sleep soon enough, but Dedue kept a careful watch until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> There _is_ rape in this (not graphic but definitely there), though it is depicted in a negative light. The rapist is not caught by the end of the fic, though the fic only cuts off by the morning after.  
> Sylvain spends the entire fic out of it and traumatized, and refuses professional medical care in the fic because the trauma is still fresh (though I believe that he would get medical attention in the morning, it is not explicitly written because the fic cuts off at dawn).  
> This also contains Sylvain trying to proposition Dedue to try and overwrite the bad memories, but Dedue refuses because Sylvain is in a very vulnerable place right now.
> 
> OP, I'm very sorry that purification sex was mentioned and then dismissed, but I feel like that would just be more in-character for Dedue. At some point in the future, when he's in a better place mentally, I definitely feel that Sylvain would ask again and Dedue would agree.


End file.
